where is god when you need him?
God, I Am Struggling
If a tragedy or a sudden change in circumstances, whether for yourself or someone you love, has caused you to doubt God, feel angry at God, or wonder if God is angry with you, and has led you to lose your faith or walk away from faith, you are not alone.
I've been in that situation before, and you might be experiencing it now, or you will likely experience it at some point in the future.
No matter what you believe about God, regardless of your faith system or religion, when bad things happen, or circumstances go wrong, something instinctive in human beings makes us look up.
We gaze upwards, and our inner voice asks some version of, "God, I am struggling. Where are you?”
This one-way imploration is in you, it’s in me, it’s in all of us.
Jesus understands this.
When he was on Earth, he intentionally created a scenario encompassing pain, sorrow, grief, sickness, anger, and ultimately death.
He created this scenario to assure us that God the Father is aware and cares, that He is with us in it, and that He can see us through it.
The One You Love is Sick
The challenge with this story is that if you grew up in or around a church, you are probably familiar with the story. The temptation is to jump to the end of the story because you already know how it ends.
But it’s not simply a story. It’s something that happened. It’s a narrative.
During our time together, it's important to fully engage with the story instead of rushing through it.
Let's pause to connect with and genuinely experience the emotions involved in this intricate situation affecting real people.
It is so layered with emotions.
And that’s where this narrative from the life of Jesus begins to intersect with all our experiences.
Whether you are on a faith journey as a Christian, a struggling Christian, someone who used to be a Christian, someone who doesn't care, or someone who no longer has faith in God, this narrative is one that Jesus designed to intersect with all of our lives, no matter where we are.
This is how the story goes.
One of Jesus’ closest friends was a staunch supporter who had frequently hosted Jesus and his disciples in his home became sick.
He had two sisters who lived with him.
Jesus is a couple of days away. The sisters send a servant to find Jesus.
When the servant found Jesus and the apostles, he said, "Jesus, the one you love, is sick, and his sisters are requesting that you come back to heal him, as you have done for so many people."
Jesus sends the servant back to Bethany.
The gospel writer John, who witnessed these events, includes an intriguing remark while recounting the story.
He inserts the comment, “Jesus loved Mary, Martha, and Lazarus."
Then, at this point, he immediately writes, "So when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was for two more days…" (John 11:5-6)
John explains in his gospel that Jesus performed many signs in his presence, and he only included a few to help us believe that Jesus is the Son of God and he came to help us understand who God really is. (John 20:30-31)
If John carefully chose events to include in his gospel for our benefit, why do you think he emphasized this event in such detail?
What are your thoughts as to why John deliberately includes that Jesus loved Mary, Martha, and Lazarus?
Where is God When I Need God?
John writes, "Jesus loved Mary, Martha, and Lazarus," and then he immediately adds, "So when he heard that Lazarus was sick, he stayed where he was for two more days…" (John 11:5-6)
After two days of delay, Jesus gets up to go to Bethany. His disciples are confused: Why now? Why go at all?
The last time they were in Bethany things did go so well.
They questioned Jesus, “But Rabbi,” they said, “a short time while ago the Judeans there tried to stone you, and yet you are going back?” (John 11:8)
Maybe, Jesus, you should perform one of those 'work from home' miracles!
The disciples were concerned about their own well-being and did not want to go to Bethany.
Jesus’ response was, “Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep; but I am going to wake him up.” (John 11:11)
There it is, 'our friend.’
The disciples really didn’t want to go, so they argued that if Lazarus was sleeping, they should let him sleep and heal.
Then Jesus told them plainly that Lazarus was dead.
And then Jesus made the most profound statement that should resonate through the centuries and impact us.
“… for your sake, I am glad I was not there so you may believe” (John 11:14-15)
Here’s the question: Believe what?
What was so important that Jesus would allow a friend to die while his sisters watched, waiting for him to show up and save the day?
What was so important that Jesus would allow these circumstances to play out the way they did?
Who is the “you” in this statement?
Is the “you” those whose faith has been or is being crushed by circumstances? If it is, then what is he trying to help us believe?
If Jesus orchestrated these heartbreaking circumstances to address our "where is God when we need Him" moments, do you think he did so for all of us, including those who don't believe or used to believe but have lost hope?
This is Your Fault!
Here is the amazing thing about this narrative.
Because of what happens next, Jesus is about to affirm what you felt when God didn’t show up for you.
Jesus is about to put an exclamation mark, not cross it out, beside what you felt when God didn’t come through for you, or your son, your daughter, your friend, or husband or wife.
He’s about to affirm what some of you are feeling right now.
He will affirm your frustration, anger, grief, and questions.
He’s about to affirm all of that with no condemnation.
Mary and Martha are at home with a group of mourners who have come to support them in their time of grief. A servant arrives at the door to inform Mary and Martha that the Rabbi is on his way.
Martha decides to go meet Jesus. When she meets him, she expresses what many of us have expressed or are expressing right now because God has seemingly not come through for us.
After all I have done for you, you didn't show up when your friend needed you the most!
“If you had been here, my brother would not have died.” John 11:21
Translated: This is your fault!
At this moment, we are all in the story.
In this moment, this story intersects with my story. It intersects with your story.
If you have ever leveraged tragedy to make the point that God doesn’t care and isn’t there.
If you have ever felt disappointed with God because of something that happened to someone you love, you step back to say, “If there was a loving God, that wouldn’t have happened.”
When we do that, it feels like we are moving away from our faith and standing outside of the faith system, criticizing and asking, “How could you believe in that kind of God?”
Jesus goes out of his way on this occasion to draw a circle large enough to include you and me because Martha represents us all in the story, with our disappointment, frustration, and anger with a God who could have and should have but didn’t.
If you are comfortable sharing, it would help all of us in our journey if you shared your experiences of feeling frustrated and angry, like Martha's feelings towards Jesus at that moment.
Why
Your story is included in the grand story of God’s good news of great joy for all people.
Jesus arranged the story of Lazarus, Martha, and Mary for people like you and me so that we might believe or believe again.
Jesus told his disciples plainly, “… Lazarus is dead, and for your sake, I am glad I was not there, so that you may believe.” (John 11:15)
That is the question! Believe what?
In Bethany when Mary finds out that Jesus is coming with Martha, she goes out to see him as well. She unloads on him the same way, “If you had been here, our brother wouldn’t have died.”
Mary is weeping. Of course, she’s weeping. She’s lost her brother, and now there is the anger and frustration of being in the presence of the very person who could have kept this from happening.
Can you feel that? Isn’t that what we would have felt? Isn’t that sometimes what we do feel?
Jesus created a circle so large that we cannot escape the emotions, pain, and frustration of the moment because we have all, at some level, been there.
Then John says, “When Jesus saw her weeping and the Judeans who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled.” (John 11:33)
And then they led Jesus to the cave where Lazarus was buried. And then this incredible thing happened.
Jesus wept. (John 11:35)
These two words are packed with meaning.
In your group, share your thoughts on why Jesus was deeply troubled and moved in spirit.
If this bothered him so much, why didn’t Jesus show up to prevent this from happening?
Does God Care
All this emotion, all these conflicting emotions, all this drama—it’s real and loud. You can smell it and hear it. Its everywhere.
And Jesus is standing in front of Lazarus’ tomb.
While it is true that Jesus could have kept this from happening, Jesus had a different agenda in mind.
He had you in mind. And he had me in mind. He had your sister-in-law in mind. Your father in mind.
Then Jesus does the unthinkable. We are introduced to a whole new wave of emotions.
Jesus says, “Remove the stone.” Moving this heavy stone was not a casual endeavor.
They have a decision to make. Do we trust the Rabbi who showed up late, who missed the opportunity, who missed the funeral?
Martha is completely overwhelmed, and her hurt spills over, and she cries out, “…by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there for four days.” (John 11:39)
Jesus, are you kidding us? This is bad enough because you were so late. You weren't a day late; you weren't two days late, Lord. You didn't simply miss his final moments with us as we held him in our arms. You were FOUR days late!
Can you feel the emotions and pain of this moment? This situation is terrible, and then Jesus adds insult to injury.
Jesus says, “Remove the stone anyway.”
And then Jesus began to pray so loud that everyone could hear it because he wanted everyone to hear his prayer.
Jesus intended for us to hear this prayer over 2000 years later, knowing we would be experiencing the same hurt and pain.
Then Jesus looked up and said, “Father, I thank you that you have heard me.
He had already been praying.
“I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here…”
And all of us here and now to hear this.
The people then and now who are navigating circumstances that are slowly crushing their faith. The people navigating circumstances in the past that totally crushed their faith.
Circumstances that are too hard, too heavy, leaving us wondering if God cares or hears our prayers, if God is angry with us, if we did something wrong, or if we could have done something to keep these things from happening.
“… I said this for the benefit of the people standing here so that they may believe…”(John 11:42)
In your group, discuss why Jesus would intentionally subject these people to such difficult circumstances so that they would believe something.
What was so crucial to believe that he would make his loved ones endure this ordeal?
What does this mean for us as we navigate through challenging situations?
JOURNAL REFLECTION
Jesus responds to the question we discussed about what to believe with a straightforward statement.
“I knew that you always hear me, but I said this for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me.” (John 11:42)
This was all about who set you?
Jesus, is that such a big deal that it’s worth all this drama, all this pain, and all this grief?
Jesus would say, “Yes,” and here’s why: if the Father sent the Son to show us what the Father is like, you can rest assured that the Father weeps with you in your pain, regardless of your blame.
If the Father is like the Son, he weeps with you in your sorrow, just as Jesus wept with his friends in their sorrow, even though he could have done something about it.
You can know with certainty that circumstances are not an indicator of God’s absence or God’s silence.
You can live with certainty and assurance because God has entered your pain with you, just as the Son did at the Father's instruction to demonstrate His love, compassion, and care for you and me.
More importantly, if the Father sent the Son, He sent the Son to demonstrate what the Father can do because we all know how the story ends.
What he says can be trusted. What he’s promised can be trusted. Who he says our Heavenly Father is can be trusted.
Conclude Your Journal Reflection
And if the Father is like the Son, and the Son demonstrates the love, compassion, and concern of the Father, then there is hope!
Even during the darkest nights and most dire circumstances.